Why does a punishment spanking often end in sex?

This is a question I often find myself pondering.

My lovely wife and I have a fantastic sexlife, and are very physically intimate. Often, during the post-punishment consolation and cuddling phase, my wife will whisper “please make love to me, Sir”.

Of course I always RSVP to such sweet invitations, my wife is a heartstoppingly beautiful and alluring woman and no man in his right mind would turn her down.

However, I often find myself wondering how and why a punishment spanking has led us to lovemaking. Is it the physical closeness that it engenders? Is my wife aroused by my dominance and, likewise, me by her submission? There have never been any BDSM-related tendencies in our marriage so it’s certainly not related to that.

I asked my wife her thoughts on why spanking often led to lovemaking. She said:

“for me, there are three reasons. Firstly, lovemaking feels like the ultimate cuddle, the ultimate way of “making everything better” after punishment.

Secondly, it feels like a valuable and powerful part of the reconnection process, a reaffirmation of the fact that however harsh a spanking is, my husband is acting out of love.

Thirdly, having my husband make love to me feels like the final act of total submission following a spanking…having given him everything else, surrendering my body and sex to him feels like the final piece of the jigsaw falling into place”

Hearing this not only made perfect sense, it also mirrored my feelings, making sense of my instinctive need for physical closeness of the most intimate kind with my wife following a spanking.

So, the simple answer is that one of the consequences of our DD lifestyle is that sometimes, following a spanking, we both want and need  sexual intimacy on the grounds of both physical and emotional reconnection, and continuity of our roles within our marriage and lifestyle.

One thing’s for sure, I’m a happy and satisfied HOH, and I’m certainly not complaining!


4 thoughts on “Why does a punishment spanking often end in sex?

  1. najaorama says:

    no judgment, just curious
    Why do you spank your wife? How often? What are your ages?

    • Hi, thanks for your comment and for reading.

      In answer to your question, I spank my wife because we have embraced the ‘DD’ or ‘Domestic Discipline’ lifestyle. Our marriage has, in the past, endured something of a power struggle between the two of us. My personality leans towards that of a natural leader, and my wife is an outspoken, intelligent and opinionated woman. As such, there were times when we pulled in different directions, which caused unnecessary stress and friction between us.

      My wife discovered DD a couple of years ago, whilst browsing online, and brought the idea to me as a way of smoothing out the power-related wrinkles in our marriage.

      DD involves one partner being designated leader or HOH (‘Head Of Household’), who makes the final decisions on familial matters and corrects any misdemeanours with spanking or other forms of fair and considered punishment. Usually the HOH will draw up a set of houserules and codes of behaviour to correct anything that isn’t to his/her approval.

      We have been pursuing this lifestyle for well over a year and it has improved our marriage, communication skills, closeness, housekeeping and sexlife immensely.

      So, the spanking part is just one thread within a broad tapestry, albeit a bold one.

      I would say on a good week my wife is spanked 1-3 times. On a bad week, 4-10 times. Spankings always vary in length and severity according to the nature of the offence, of course.

      My wife is 26 and I turn 31 next week.

      Thanks again for your comment-if you have any other questions you’d like to ask, feel free!

      SH UK

      • najaorama says:

        I find this intriguing.
        What does she do to get punished?
        Is the spanking painful humiliating or both?
        If you guys have great sex after a spanking, does she do things to illicit punishment in order to get spanked.
        Thanks for talking so openly about it.

      • No problem, always happy to chat!

        Some examples of rule transgressions that have led to a spanking include:

        Driving without a seatbelt
        Eating unhealthily
        Overrunning internet curfew
        Drinking too much
        Dressing inappropriately

        I’m not really into the humiliation aspect of spanking-my wife addresses me as “Sir” during punishment, but as a gesture of respect rather than humiliation. A spanking is painful but the aim is for it to be thought provoking and to encourage good behaviour, rather than cause pain or humiliation. All spankings are applied with love and care, but are also firm, forceful and purposeful.

        It’s not uncommon for the submissive partner to intentionally act in a way that encourages the dominant partner to punish them, this is usually referred to as “bratting”. My wife has been through phases of this but not for a long while. The usual aim of bratting, consciously or not, is to test the dominant partner’s authority and reassure the submissive partner of each participant’s roles within the relationship.

        I hope this helps-feel free to ask anything else you’d like to know.

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